O N E F I N E D A Y

There's always one day to find out who you really are, 

The reason why you become,

One day for your self to think 'bout what happend
experience it:
HERE

. . . . .H A T R E D. . . . .

“Lo tau apa yang bisa ngerubah seseorang Za? Saat dia bertemu dengan ketakutan terbesarnya”

Tara D'Pampered

LET'S TRAVELL

AREN'T YOU BORED ALWAYS BE HERE?

There's always a reason to travel

Orang-orang selalu terpaku dengan alasan mengapa mereka harus melakukan suatu perjalanan, terkadang mereka hanya tidak menyadari betapa suatu perjalanan akan mempengaruhi hari-hari mereka. Orang-orang sibuk membolak-balik kalender di atas mejanya hanya untuk mencari warna merah beruntut dimana mereka bisa merasa bebas dan menghela nafas. 

If someday your finger can't touch the ground If someday your arms can't feel my touch If someday your eyes can't see my face I'll carry you be there for you anytime of day

I still love you - the overtunes terputar di kamarnya. Ia terus menatap ke langit-langit kamarnya yang gelap, dari matanya sedikit demi sedikit terbentuk gumpalan air yang akhirnya terjatuh dan mengalir terus menerus. Ia berusaha mengatur nafasnya, mengingat semua kilasan tentang ia dan dirinya. sesekali tersenyum namun juga menangis sambil menahan air matanya yang tetap terus mengalir. 

"It's okay" ia berbisik kepada dirinya sendiri. Kini tekanan di kepalanya meningkat, ia merasakan sakit yang luar biasa. Ia mengingat kalimat terakhir yang ia ucapkan tadi "Take Care".

Jam di handphonenya menunjukkan pukul 3.16 pagi, ia kembali mengingat percakapannya tadi, sebuah telfon singkat, yang mungkin menjadi akhir dari semua hubungan yang ia jalani dengan Carra, mantan pacarnya. 

 02.30 

-Buzz
-Buzz

Wajah Carra yang masih menjadi chat wallpaper mereka muncul, namun ia memutuskan untuk tidak membacanya.

*Read*
-Belom tidur ?
*Hahaha Udah ni yang balas hantu

Carra Is Calling You

Ia menatap layar handphonenya selama beberapa detik, ia mengingat setiap detail yang ingin dikatakannya dengan Carra, Walaupun ia tau keadaan akan berubah tepat saat ia mengangkat telfon Carra nanti, ia tetap ingin mengatakan apa yang ada di kepalanya, walaupun taruhannya, Carra tidak akan menghubunginya lagi. Setelah memutuskan ia mengangkat telfon tersebut

"Hallohh." Ujarnya secara lembut dan sangat tertata, ia juga menyimpulkan sebuah senyum walaupun ia tau Carra tidak akan mengetahui ia tersenyum

"Hmmmmm" Carra bersuara tipis, suara yang selalu dikenalinya, Carra sudah mengantuk, "kok belom tidur?" Carra menambahkan.

"Karena belom ngantuk." ia kembali tersenyum mengucapkan kalimat tersebut, ia sudah tau Carra benar-benar mengantuk, dan ia mulai kembali merasa nyaman berbicara dengan Carra, dan hampir melupakan tujuannya.

"Tidurlah kamu tu..." Carra berusaha menasihatinya

"Kamu sekarang sama siapa?" Ia memotong perkataan Carra, "Tadi aku ketemu sih sama dia," ia kembali menghentikan kalimatnya, mengatur nafasnya lalu kembali berkata "sejak kapan keadaannya berubah?" 

Carra hanya menanggapi ucapannya dengan main-main, Seperti biasa. 

"Terus kenapa kamu ngehubungin aku lagi belakangan?" Ujar ia secara dingin, Carra mulai merasakan keseriusannya, ia mulai terdiam. "Ra, mungkin kamu nganggep aku temen, tapi jujur aku nggak bisa. Aku ga bisa nyakitin cewek lain karena pacarnya bertemen sm mantannya."

Awkward Moment #2

"are you sure you want to do this?" B say to me

"Yep, it makes me looks really bad if I don't."

"Okey, I'll turn around"

And B does, she comes to A, "HEY", she scream excitedly meeting A. Her bestfriend, and mine. So I exhale my breathe and I just turn arround too. "OMG.... ****" A screaming my name, in a shocked way, I can see the glance in her eyes, thinking about her other friend (C), beside her, and a little things I know about C, is she is my ex boyfriend's crush. I face A with the best fake smile I can make, but I told you, even I can feel it really fake. And A came to me, and I'm not listening what she said, she hug me and tell me a bunch of words that I know she only say it to comfort me, cause I know she can feel me, and she also feel that C is aware about me. 

Than I just turn around, and, I....

I can't even say good bye to A, I just left, and gone, without saying anything..

HIHO KIDS

It's HiHo Kids!!!

HiHo Kids is a youtube channel which I really like so much

Well it's a part of the CUT studio actually

It's first start with 'kids try' video

which I guess it's attract some attention till they decide to make their own channel

Now the HiHo Kids itself no longer only producing the kids try video,

There's so much more lyk, Kids Play, Word Play, Kids Explain and so much others.

Since I love kids so much, this Channel being my most favourite channel, 

I like to see all of this HiHo Kids so much. 

I subscribe & turn on the notification

And Right Now, I want to introduce you to the HiHo Kids One by One :

Well, may be it's a kinda late to tell
But I guess it's better late then never.
Lately I reopen(& reuse) soundcloud, and I just remember about this
The things I really need to share this day is

Actually there's someone take over my name to be his song tittle

I'm touched, so touched

I Like the song, I like how he 'hide' my name inside it, 

it's actually not worth to be the tittle of the song,

Cause you barely even can't hear my name there

but the best part is, he write my full name, 

not really a full name actually, but

It's me.

SOCIALITIES

When a popular girl seems too perfect to have problem, you're totally wrong, 

it's actually just them who always cover it up, so you never notice,

Read a novel about a bunch of popular girls solving their problem? 

CLICK HERE

that awkward moment

"Do you still love him?" 

"Really? Hello? of course! Did I really need more time to get over him then the time I going out with him?" 

I remember the last conversation I had 'bout him, I'm totally sure about what I said. I even laugh when I said that thing. I have no doubt, Cause yes, I believe I already over him.  But right now, he's standing right in front of me, and my heart beat faster than ever, my eyes, my cheek feels so hot, and at the same time, I feel like my blood stop flowing through my vein, I just keep my smile, when my friend and his friend joking around, and then I go, pass through him, without looking at him, or his friend, or my friend. My head was spinning around, like totally spinning around, saying "No you shouldn't be this way, just smile and say hi to him" But I can't. I really can't. I step in to the car without saying anything, I still don't care about my friends who keep teasing me. 

I'm a fool. 

Am I over him?

I bet, I miss him so much that I could cry to see him

She may look pretty but she's broken inside

You see the smile she always give to you?

It's a fake one

And if the fake one can charms you that much,

Can you imagine her real one?

You know she used to have it,

And put it everywhere she go

She do not care who she met,

Even her enemy, she just put it on

She's so kind, too kind

And everyone can see it

She believe, everyone will be the same as she is

But she just did not see it

Those kindness make her too easy to be hurt,

And she is.

That's why she's become who she is right now

#halalkanatautinggalkan (?)

REALLY?

HAHAHA

I MEAN IT BUT I DON'T MEAN IT

Here I told you, This post is really-really an un-pointed post

It's a total HAHA post!! 

Sometimes people just don't get it
Total chaos is not always as big as it sounds
It could be a little thing
A little small thing that might no one see
but it can affect you little by little
It torn you as slow as the wind blows
and no one think it can ripped you all over
like this way

Sometimes you don't even realise when it started
You just go on with your life,
You think you're strong enough to handle all of your problem
You believe you always do the best for the sake of your own self

But suddenly you feel yourself changing
You suddenly see how the old you step ahead of all those trouble
and how your self now just put your problem in a big circle of your life
You cover it so no one could see it
And they said "You've been through a lot, I wish I could be strong as you"

It's the total chaos.
It's change you in a total move.

Are you stop believe in sun when the star are shining?

Goodbye

Where's the good in goodbye?
You sing it out loud, You say you hate good bye, so you didn't say it.
And you're leaving, just like that.
So is it good?

It's good, for you, the one who leaving,
If one day you want to come back you just simply say
"OMG, There's no way I'm gonna leave you."
But for them who left,
Every night , Every single night since the day you left they wonder,
"Are you really leaving?" or
"may be (s)he will be back again someday?" or even worse
They don't accept it, they don't believe it, they put too much trust in you.
They believe you'll never hurt them.

Do you like it?
You save your self but you destroying anyone else
Do you feel better?

"Do you believe me now?"
"I don't know."
"I want you to believe. I want you to see."
"I'm just not ready."
"There's always a good reason to believe again. And this time let me be one."
I close my eyes, I'm afraid, when I say it, I'll do, I'll do believe in him, I'll do put my heart on him, and he want me to answer that kind of question...
"You know I always believe in you."
"You have a mood swing, I'm afraid."
"Not this time"
And it's turns out it your turn, your mood swings away, far away enough to make you leaving. 

It's a mental breakdown
It's funny, how an un-important priceless boy has completely ruin your life
This time, It's really ruined. You can't think , you can't breathe.
It's not caused by he is so much important to you,
but he make you feel like you always be nothing to anyone
Someone like him,
who force you to take away your insecurity
As if he will always be there for you
Who force you to believe, once again
Into him

You'll be cursing your own self about how stupid you are
About how can you break your self this easy
But you're to tired to scream
Even the mirror is no longer be your bestfriend

Everything in your life is truly full of shit
You started to hate him and everyone around you
Even your own self

Seems like "I'm done with everything"

I need some space

To breathe

To think

To believe

To start it all over again

I'm no longer who I always be

I'm changing

But I don't know

I don't know if it to be better or worse

I want to step in

I want this over immediately 

I need some space

So I can Live

MOVE ON?

Before you read this post let me tell you this actually my old post

Well, I never post this but I write this around a year and a half before now,

Just want to inform you that so that no one will judge that I couldn't move through my lastest breakup. 

First Date

Well, Inspirited by my friend who are really nervous to go to her first date, I started to remember all my first date, how is it happen, how I stress I was, how I dress & make up.

Right before your first date, you will feel it,   stressed out.

Maybe, I already had a bunch of first date(LOL, I'm not so proud of this), and everytime I had my first date, I always nervous. I don't know what to wear, I don't know how to act, I don't know what to talk about, technically,  I'm not really a nice, humble or warm person in my first date.

One of my ex told me that the first time he met me (our first date) I'm not even a close to my real self. "Oh my god, I almost give up on you that time" He said so cause I almost didn't speak a word.

But, One of others , He can make me so comfortable, humble, talkactive, basicly, I just being so my self around him, maybe because It's not our first met, but our first date after a longlong time never met and talk.

First date is always be something, you may forget someone, but the butterfly at your firstdate, you will never forget it.

And, What I want to talk about here is, some tips on your first date. I'm not an expert, I just share what I know and what I thought about those first date.

So, get ready to hear what I thought you should do and don't in your first date :

I ❤ Drugstore Make up Haul

Berawal dari liburan tidak panjang (mengingat jadwal kuliah yang hampir no libur sepanjang puasa) beberapa waktu lalu aku menghabiskan waktu aku untuk browsing through the web : www.youtube.com yang pastinya udah nggak asing lagi buat siapapun. 

Lalu, apa yang akan dicari seorang gadis umur 20 tahun di youtube? 

Ya nggak lain dan nggak bukan, she'll watching 'bout 'The other girl'

Jadi, channel yang aku buka tentunya nggak jauh-jauh dari make up & make up

And so, I can't handle it, right after all those pretty youtuber reviewing a make up, it's enough to convinced me to buy those make up!(It's really bad for my wallet😥)

But it's okay!

That's why di dunia ini ada yang namanya make up drugstore, 

a.k.a make up make up dengan harga yang lumayan tergangkau.

So here we are, we'll talking about some new make up I get in this week 

Hope you enjoy it, XOXO