"Be with someone who will climb with you, 

not the one who wait for you on the top"

Well, for my self this quotes doesn't really sounds right, is it true? someone who wait you on top doesn't deserve you? 

What if, someone who wait for you on top is not only waiting for you, but also is the reason why you can get through all of this.

What if, someone who wait for you on top is actually someone who will pull you up through get in to her point.
And, what if she is me...? Will you still be with someone who will climb with you? While I'm sitting here, praying, and desperately waiting for you to be with me. 

"Hey, whatcha doing?"
"Missing you... I missing you lyk crazy..."
"I miss you too.... So much... Want you be here with me?"
"I don't.... I'm afraid...."
"Why, it's just you and me, loving each other like we always do."
"No... We don't... You don't..."
"Hey, seriously, just let me held you..."
"No. I won't.... I mean... I want to... so much... but I know we will never be the same, I'm missing the old you, who love me, And now... Everytime you call me, you hold me, I'm not feeling the same, I'm not feel safe lyk I used to do. I'm picturing her, crying, because she love you, as much as I do... It's enough, it's okay, let me hurt, but don't let her. Please, love her, be with her, be the man I always love, not this way. Please."

"Why?" She asked,
"So... I can't call you anymore?" He said. She can feel his sound, he's shaking, but she can't handle this anymore, she don't want to be the victim.

"I miss you... I really do... I still love you, like I used to do... I don't know about you... But I don't mind... You have someone else now... And I want you to appreciate her... I want you to love her, pick her up every morning, spend all of your spare time with her, like you always do... Even when she's not your girlfriend... I don't want to be someone who ruin your relationship.... Even if I want you so much...."

TIME OUT

"7 PM, I'm just gonna wait 'till 7 pm. If he doesn't call... 

I know what I'm gonna do"

***

19.00

She smile, "It's okay." She eject the USB from her laptop, wake up from her bed, take a box on the table and put it in the secret chamber below her bed. She open the box before it safely saved, she put the usb in it. Then get back to her bed. A tears running through her cheeks. She stare at her own laptop, her mind blow through something she planned before, something she knew has been canceled. Then she open one of the folder in her laptop desktop, "Lastchance". 

A video played, a video she want to give to him, but she won't... He passing the deadline, like he always did, "the time is out" She said. She remember all thing she has planned, She want to hang out with him, going somewhere, talk about family and every little details of their life, like they used to did. Watching movie they don't really like,  Then she prepare a polaroid cam, she want to take a photo, with him, the thing they don't always do, she wants to apologise, for everything happen to them, she just want a perfect day with him.  even if it has to be the last date she gonna have with him, she want to make it good. She fake a smile, "I know he will never change." she select the folder she opened before, delete button pressed, a pop up notification came up, 'are you sure you want to delete?' She move her mouse to the 'Yes' word, But suddenly her phone ringing... 

"HIM"a name shows up in her phone, she stare at it and started to thinking again...

'I Miss You' She's screaming inside. She really wants to hug him and cry upon his shoulder, tell him to never let her go again. She wants to look him in the eye and tell him how miserable was her life without him, how she miss all the hug and kisses and all the sweet daily story they always tell everynight. She want him to know how much she love him. And she don't care, she don't care if he's not so in love the way she did. She don't care how careless he is to her self, she just love him much, a way too much. 

And the day she met him, he was standing there with another girl, a girl who way too different from her. A girl who throw a toss when other girl blow kisses, A girl who raise her eyebrow instead of smile or wink to boy she like, A girl who enough to make her feel so small, she wants to be like her. 

You want to leave?
Are you sure?
If you hesitate, don't.
If you think you do, just do.

But if you really do,
If you really gonna leave don't ever come back
You may look back, and missed everything and want to have it once again.
But don't.

If you're leaving, I asked you one single thing.
Just to simply don't give a shit of everything you ever had.
I want you to simply believe that's all everything you ever had and you appreciate it
But you don't want it more.

O N E F I N E D A Y

There's always one day to find out who you really are, 

The reason why you become,

One day for your self to think 'bout what happend
experience it:
HERE

. . . . .H A T R E D. . . . .

“Lo tau apa yang bisa ngerubah seseorang Za? Saat dia bertemu dengan ketakutan terbesarnya”

Tara D'Pampered

LET'S TRAVELL

AREN'T YOU BORED ALWAYS BE HERE?

There's always a reason to travel

Orang-orang selalu terpaku dengan alasan mengapa mereka harus melakukan suatu perjalanan, terkadang mereka hanya tidak menyadari betapa suatu perjalanan akan mempengaruhi hari-hari mereka. Orang-orang sibuk membolak-balik kalender di atas mejanya hanya untuk mencari warna merah beruntut dimana mereka bisa merasa bebas dan menghela nafas. 

If someday your finger can't touch the ground If someday your arms can't feel my touch If someday your eyes can't see my face I'll carry you be there for you anytime of day

I still love you - the overtunes terputar di kamarnya. Ia terus menatap ke langit-langit kamarnya yang gelap, dari matanya sedikit demi sedikit terbentuk gumpalan air yang akhirnya terjatuh dan mengalir terus menerus. Ia berusaha mengatur nafasnya, mengingat semua kilasan tentang ia dan dirinya. sesekali tersenyum namun juga menangis sambil menahan air matanya yang tetap terus mengalir. 

"It's okay" ia berbisik kepada dirinya sendiri. Kini tekanan di kepalanya meningkat, ia merasakan sakit yang luar biasa. Ia mengingat kalimat terakhir yang ia ucapkan tadi "Take Care".

Jam di handphonenya menunjukkan pukul 3.16 pagi, ia kembali mengingat percakapannya tadi, sebuah telfon singkat, yang mungkin menjadi akhir dari semua hubungan yang ia jalani dengan Carra, mantan pacarnya. 

 02.30 

-Buzz
-Buzz

Wajah Carra yang masih menjadi chat wallpaper mereka muncul, namun ia memutuskan untuk tidak membacanya.

*Read*
-Belom tidur ?
*Hahaha Udah ni yang balas hantu

Carra Is Calling You

Ia menatap layar handphonenya selama beberapa detik, ia mengingat setiap detail yang ingin dikatakannya dengan Carra, Walaupun ia tau keadaan akan berubah tepat saat ia mengangkat telfon Carra nanti, ia tetap ingin mengatakan apa yang ada di kepalanya, walaupun taruhannya, Carra tidak akan menghubunginya lagi. Setelah memutuskan ia mengangkat telfon tersebut

"Hallohh." Ujarnya secara lembut dan sangat tertata, ia juga menyimpulkan sebuah senyum walaupun ia tau Carra tidak akan mengetahui ia tersenyum

"Hmmmmm" Carra bersuara tipis, suara yang selalu dikenalinya, Carra sudah mengantuk, "kok belom tidur?" Carra menambahkan.

"Karena belom ngantuk." ia kembali tersenyum mengucapkan kalimat tersebut, ia sudah tau Carra benar-benar mengantuk, dan ia mulai kembali merasa nyaman berbicara dengan Carra, dan hampir melupakan tujuannya.

"Tidurlah kamu tu..." Carra berusaha menasihatinya

"Kamu sekarang sama siapa?" Ia memotong perkataan Carra, "Tadi aku ketemu sih sama dia," ia kembali menghentikan kalimatnya, mengatur nafasnya lalu kembali berkata "sejak kapan keadaannya berubah?" 

Carra hanya menanggapi ucapannya dengan main-main, Seperti biasa. 

"Terus kenapa kamu ngehubungin aku lagi belakangan?" Ujar ia secara dingin, Carra mulai merasakan keseriusannya, ia mulai terdiam. "Ra, mungkin kamu nganggep aku temen, tapi jujur aku nggak bisa. Aku ga bisa nyakitin cewek lain karena pacarnya bertemen sm mantannya."

Awkward Moment #2

"are you sure you want to do this?" B say to me

"Yep, it makes me looks really bad if I don't."

"Okey, I'll turn around"

And B does, she comes to A, "HEY", she scream excitedly meeting A. Her bestfriend, and mine. So I exhale my breathe and I just turn arround too. "OMG.... ****" A screaming my name, in a shocked way, I can see the glance in her eyes, thinking about her other friend (C), beside her, and a little things I know about C, is she is my ex boyfriend's crush. I face A with the best fake smile I can make, but I told you, even I can feel it really fake. And A came to me, and I'm not listening what she said, she hug me and tell me a bunch of words that I know she only say it to comfort me, cause I know she can feel me, and she also feel that C is aware about me. 

Than I just turn around, and, I....

I can't even say good bye to A, I just left, and gone, without saying anything..

HIHO KIDS

It's HiHo Kids!!!

HiHo Kids is a youtube channel which I really like so much

Well it's a part of the CUT studio actually

It's first start with 'kids try' video

which I guess it's attract some attention till they decide to make their own channel

Now the HiHo Kids itself no longer only producing the kids try video,

There's so much more lyk, Kids Play, Word Play, Kids Explain and so much others.

Since I love kids so much, this Channel being my most favourite channel, 

I like to see all of this HiHo Kids so much. 

I subscribe & turn on the notification

And Right Now, I want to introduce you to the HiHo Kids One by One :

Well, may be it's a kinda late to tell
But I guess it's better late then never.
Lately I reopen(& reuse) soundcloud, and I just remember about this
The things I really need to share this day is

Actually there's someone take over my name to be his song tittle

I'm touched, so touched

I Like the song, I like how he 'hide' my name inside it, 

it's actually not worth to be the tittle of the song,

Cause you barely even can't hear my name there

but the best part is, he write my full name, 

not really a full name actually, but

It's me.

SOCIALITIES

When a popular girl seems too perfect to have problem, you're totally wrong, 

it's actually just them who always cover it up, so you never notice,

Read a novel about a bunch of popular girls solving their problem? 

CLICK HERE

that awkward moment

"Do you still love him?" 

"Really? Hello? of course! Did I really need more time to get over him then the time I going out with him?" 

I remember the last conversation I had 'bout him, I'm totally sure about what I said. I even laugh when I said that thing. I have no doubt, Cause yes, I believe I already over him.  But right now, he's standing right in front of me, and my heart beat faster than ever, my eyes, my cheek feels so hot, and at the same time, I feel like my blood stop flowing through my vein, I just keep my smile, when my friend and his friend joking around, and then I go, pass through him, without looking at him, or his friend, or my friend. My head was spinning around, like totally spinning around, saying "No you shouldn't be this way, just smile and say hi to him" But I can't. I really can't. I step in to the car without saying anything, I still don't care about my friends who keep teasing me. 

I'm a fool. 

Am I over him?

I bet, I miss him so much that I could cry to see him

She may look pretty but she's broken inside

You see the smile she always give to you?

It's a fake one

And if the fake one can charms you that much,

Can you imagine her real one?

You know she used to have it,

And put it everywhere she go

She do not care who she met,

Even her enemy, she just put it on

She's so kind, too kind

And everyone can see it

She believe, everyone will be the same as she is

But she just did not see it

Those kindness make her too easy to be hurt,

And she is.

That's why she's become who she is right now

#halalkanatautinggalkan (?)

REALLY?

HAHAHA

I MEAN IT BUT I DON'T MEAN IT

Here I told you, This post is really-really an un-pointed post

It's a total HAHA post!! 

Sometimes people just don't get it
Total chaos is not always as big as it sounds
It could be a little thing
A little small thing that might no one see
but it can affect you little by little
It torn you as slow as the wind blows
and no one think it can ripped you all over
like this way

Sometimes you don't even realise when it started
You just go on with your life,
You think you're strong enough to handle all of your problem
You believe you always do the best for the sake of your own self

But suddenly you feel yourself changing
You suddenly see how the old you step ahead of all those trouble
and how your self now just put your problem in a big circle of your life
You cover it so no one could see it
And they said "You've been through a lot, I wish I could be strong as you"

It's the total chaos.
It's change you in a total move.

Are you stop believe in sun when the star are shining?

Goodbye

Where's the good in goodbye?
You sing it out loud, You say you hate good bye, so you didn't say it.
And you're leaving, just like that.
So is it good?

It's good, for you, the one who leaving,
If one day you want to come back you just simply say
"OMG, There's no way I'm gonna leave you."
But for them who left,
Every night , Every single night since the day you left they wonder,
"Are you really leaving?" or
"may be (s)he will be back again someday?" or even worse
They don't accept it, they don't believe it, they put too much trust in you.
They believe you'll never hurt them.

Do you like it?
You save your self but you destroying anyone else
Do you feel better?