29 Agustus 2016

FRIEND ZONE

Banyak orang beranggepan sahabatan cewek sama cowok itu indah, nyaman, cocok, dan masih banyak kata-kata yang orang gunain untuk menggambarkan 'kedekatan' mereka.

Kenyataannya, psikologi membuktikan kalo cewek sm cowok itu ga akan bener-bener murni sahabatan dalam jangka waktu lama. One of them bakal jatuh cinta sm yang lainnya tanpa disadari, kalau mereka beruntung maka dua-duanya bakal jatuh cinta.

Tapi kondisi dimana salah satu jatuh cinta inilah yg sering di sebut friendzone, terlalu nyaman deket dengen sahabatnya. Dan yang memperburuk keadaan, si temen yang di jatuhin cinta(?) ini, tau galo lawan jenisnya jatuh cinta sama dia tapi dia malah memanfaatkan keadaan, gak buka mata dan nggak ngejauh juga.

Well, aku gak membenarkan untuk ngejauh juga si sebenernya, tapi, penjelasan. Ya, mau gimanapun keadaanya sebenernya semua orang itu perlu suatu penjelasan, jadi orang itu bisa berfikir apa dia harus stay or leave.

The point is, when you love someone, you should let them know. 
If you don't you should tell them too, Loud and clear. 
If you want to be just friend, let them know. 

Terkadang orang takut untuk bersikap jahat sama orang lain, tapi disisilain mereka gak sadar degan sikap yang terlalu baik bahkan bisa nyakitin orang lain Lebih kejam dari pada langsung jahat sekalian. 

Well, friendzone juga sebenernya gak akan kejadian kalo pihaknya nggak terlalu mudah baper. Tapi soal perasaan siapa sih yang bisa ngatur.
Dan, Jatuh cinta sama temen itu gak semudah itu. Perasaan sayang sama temen sama cara padang kepada lawan jenis itu cenderung beda. The thing is... When you care too much about a person sometimes makes you feel hurt whenever they feel sad. And sometimes you feel like you don't want to lose them, that's why you feel so insecure when (s)he's not around you and that feeling will make you realize you really are falling in love with your best friend.

Nobody want to stuck in the friend zone, when you fall in love, tell 'em. The worst thing of tell the truth that you're falling in love with them is you get denied, The worst thing of never tell what you really felt is, Regret. And trust me it will hurt you muchmuchmuch more than get denied.



Hardest Goodbye

*A Year ago*
"Do you really have to go now?" He stare at her with a broken smile.
She hold her smile, take his hand said "You know it's already late."
"Will we meet tomorrow?"
"My day is all yours, Okay? I gotta go now. See you."

She left with a smile on her cheeks, she's really hurt when she look in to his eyes, but she really has to go, even if it's the hardest goodbye she ever known. 

Yeah, she believe that was the hardest goodbye can happen to her. 

Until today...

"I gotta go now." She smile to him and packed her things
"Okay, see you soon." He stare at her and reply her smile, watching her open up the door and leaving him, just like that. 
She walk slowly to her home, hoping the boy she left behind will call her name, but he don't. 
So she get in to her room, sitting there in the corner and whispering to her self, "So this is it? Hardest goodbye? It's not about how I couldn't let you go,But 'bout how I let you go so easily, as if there's nothing between us. Why do we really need to act as if we're just friend? You know we never be friends. "

10 Agustus 2016

AGAIN?!

Beberapa bulan lalu, dalam suatu pelatihan yang aku ikutin, katanya dalam hidup ini ada yang namanya Fraktan, Atau pola berulang dalam kehidupan. 

Jadi Orang didunia ini cenderung mengalami hal yang sama berulang-ulang kali, dan pola ini ga akan berakhir kecuali mata rantainya di putus.

Well, Aku dulu sadar, dalam hidup ini kita akan cenderung naksir / suka dengan orang yang sejenis, dan ketika kita bertemu dengan seseorang yang berbeda, orang inilah yang akan membuat kita bertahan. 

So, in my mind, perubahan dalam diri kita itu akan terjadi dengan sendirinya. Dan ternyata Nggak. 
Pola berulang itu emang bener adanya, kaya cewek yang cenderung terus-terusan ketemu playboy, atau sebaliknya (playboy yang bisa terus-terusan ketemu korban). pelatihan itu ngasih tau aku cara menghentikan mata rantai dari Fraktan itu sendiri, adalah 'take a lesson to learn' Jadi, as long as kita gak sadar sama apa yang kejadian, semuanya bakal terus kejadian berulang-ulang kali, over and over again. 

In my life, the pattern is really happened.  Falling in love, so in love, losing them, found somebody new and they coming back. Always. I don't know How. I always ended regretting the choice that I made before. Always turning back and keep repeating the same mistake. 

And this time I realise, No more fear, no more insecure. when you sure about something, you have to be sure 100%. when you already made a mistake, and you regret it, you really really have to take a lesson to learn.  

Tapi, orang-orang mungkin mikir, kalo orang yang melakukan kesalahan yang sama itu orang paling bodoh, menurut aku, bukan bodoh, tapi kurang berfikir. Karena saat kita berada di suatu posisi, yang sebenarnya mungkin udah pernah kita alami, sometimes kita melupakan kalo kita pernah melakukan suatu kesalahan, dan dengan polosnya dengan menggunakan polapikir seperti yang sebelumnya membuat suatu keputusan, jadi keputusan yang terbentuk sama kayak keputusan yang sebelumnya, which is making that mistake(s) (again). 

A couple month ago I was hoping if I could turn back time, and I don't know how but it's happened , Well, in a little different way. But the thing is... I have to make a choice, So I think hard... And I made my choice. And I'm hoping that this time, I'm not gonna get those pattern anymore.

3 Agustus 2016

Man of my dream

The man of my dream is the man who I love the most, and love me the most
His smile is my sunlight, He might not that charming, but his the best for me.
The love we build since we’re child is always getting bigger everytime I looked to his eye.
He hold my hand tight, take his breathe and smile, the brightest smile I ever see.

The first time I met him, I know he love me, he stare at me all day with that pretty eye, my favorite brown eyes. But I don’t care, I don’t like him, I have no reason to like him.

The man of my dream is the one who wear shirt and shoes at our first date, and tell me he want to see me without those make up. 
So we set up another date, an unusual date, we do sport, Tshirt and shorts ,a single ponytail, and without make up, 
but he tell me, ‘you always be better off this way’ with those lovely smile.

I love him, in everyway he did I love him, 
he ever did disappoint me, once, twice but I don’t care, cause I did too. 
I make a stupid mistakes, not once , even when I know that I was wrong, I did it again, I let him down, but he’s not give up on me.

He really is the man of my dream, the man who I really want to reach, the man who has anything and everything I need. The man who should stand right beside me through thick and thin, better or worse.

And now I opened my eyes, I see a man with a smile, hugging me gently and saying “good morning, darling.” And I smile too. But then I realize his not the man of my dream.


Because the man of my dream, disappear when I wake up.