MOVE ON?

Before you read this post let me tell you this actually my old post

Well, I never post this but I write this around a year and a half before now,

Just want to inform you that so that no one will judge that I couldn't move through my lastest breakup. 

First Date

Well, Inspirited by my friend who are really nervous to go to her first date, I started to remember all my first date, how is it happen, how I stress I was, how I dress & make up.

Right before your first date, you will feel it,   stressed out.

Maybe, I already had a bunch of first date(LOL, I'm not so proud of this), and everytime I had my first date, I always nervous. I don't know what to wear, I don't know how to act, I don't know what to talk about, technically,  I'm not really a nice, humble or warm person in my first date.

One of my ex told me that the first time he met me (our first date) I'm not even a close to my real self. "Oh my god, I almost give up on you that time" He said so cause I almost didn't speak a word.

But, One of others , He can make me so comfortable, humble, talkactive, basicly, I just being so my self around him, maybe because It's not our first met, but our first date after a longlong time never met and talk.

First date is always be something, you may forget someone, but the butterfly at your firstdate, you will never forget it.

And, What I want to talk about here is, some tips on your first date. I'm not an expert, I just share what I know and what I thought about those first date.

So, get ready to hear what I thought you should do and don't in your first date :

I ❤ Drugstore Make up Haul

Berawal dari liburan tidak panjang (mengingat jadwal kuliah yang hampir no libur sepanjang puasa) beberapa waktu lalu aku menghabiskan waktu aku untuk browsing through the web : www.youtube.com yang pastinya udah nggak asing lagi buat siapapun. 

Lalu, apa yang akan dicari seorang gadis umur 20 tahun di youtube? 

Ya nggak lain dan nggak bukan, she'll watching 'bout 'The other girl'

Jadi, channel yang aku buka tentunya nggak jauh-jauh dari make up & make up

And so, I can't handle it, right after all those pretty youtuber reviewing a make up, it's enough to convinced me to buy those make up!(It's really bad for my wallet😥)

But it's okay!

That's why di dunia ini ada yang namanya make up drugstore, 

a.k.a make up make up dengan harga yang lumayan tergangkau.

So here we are, we'll talking about some new make up I get in this week 

Hope you enjoy it, XOXO

Berat Sebelah

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"Hm. Semoga kamu bahagia ya Ra."

"Kalo kamu nganggep, aku mutusin kamu, ninggalin kamu dan semudah itu cari yang lain, kamu sala ka." Keyra berhenti berbicara, nafasnya tercegat, meskipun Saka tidak melihat wajah Keyra saat ini, ia tahu sudah ada air mata yang menetes dari mata keyra. Setelah diam beberapa detik ditelfon itu Keyra melanjutkan kalimatnya, "kamu kira aku seneng? ngerasain kekosongan sendirian? Menolak semua orang yang berusaha nemenin aku? Mungkin aku beralibi aku udah capek sama semuanya, tapi sebenernya aku cuma nungguin kamu." Nada bicara Keyra sudah berubah, sudah tidak menyedihkan lagi, kini suaranya tegas, serbesik nada amarah muncul caranya berbicara. Saka tau ini benar-benar bukan saat yang tepat untuk memotong pembicaraan Keyra, bahkan ia tau ia tidak perlu menanggapi untuk sekedar memberi tahu bahwa ia menyimak. Keyra memperbaiki posisi duduknya. 

"Tapi, aku nggak bisa nunggu selamanya kan? Dan, semakin lama aku menunggu, semakin aku merasa kalo hubungan kita selalu berat sebelah..."

"Maksudnya?" Kini Saka terpancing, ia tidak menyukai arah pembicaraan Keyra

"Aku nggak bohong soal perasaan aku. Aku sayang banget sama kamu. Oleh karena itu juga aku ngelakuin semua yang pernah aku lakuin ke kamu. Aku berusaha sebaik mungkin, sekeras mungkin, bahkan aku bertahan saat hal tersebut cuma nyiksa aku. Aku nyiksa diri aku bahkan saat setelah kita putus, aku belabelain kamu di depan temen-temen aku saat mereka nganggep kamu yang nggak nganggep aku. Sedangkan kamu berteguh pendirian dengan keputusan, bahwa kamu emang bener, dan kamu nggak melalukan kesalahan."

"Aku emang sedih banget Ka pisah sama kamu, kalo bisa aku juga mau sama-sama kamu lagi. Tapi aku nggak bisa kembali ke keadaan itu. Saat aku udah sadar kalo hubungan itu berat sebelah." Keyra menghembuskan nafas lega, akhirnya ia bisa menyampaikan semua yang ada di otaknya beberapa bulan terakhir. Ia tahu Saka pasti dalam keadaan shock saat ini, tidak tau harus berkomentar apa. 

"Kalo kamu nanya, aku sayang ato nggak sama kamu, jawaban aku nggak berubah kok Ka, Sayang banget." Keyra kembali menambahkan kalimatnya. 

Keyra tersenyum walaupun ia tahu Saka tidak melihatnya, memandangi langit-langit kamarnya, "Aku cuma butuh orang yang bisa menyeimbangkan rasa sayang aku ko Ka, dan aku nggak pernah kasih batasan orang itu siapa, bisa aja kamu atau orang lain. Yang jelas, aku nggak akan ngebiarin semuanya kembali berat sebelah."

Mirror

I wondering who actually he is. First time I know him, there's something bout him that I can't explain.   I feel something strong and strange. Then we start being close... I like him. So much. As I told you before I love everyway he did to me. His eyes, smiles, laugh and everything. But turns out as you love someone, you becoming your true self by time. He started to be cold... I don't know... it never felt so pretty as before anymore. I'm hurting, little by little, it's started to torn me apart.
I tell my friend about everything happen, they all blame him cause they thing he changes for no reason. But I know he didn't. Some how I see he just showing his true colour, he just becoming who he really are. I see my self in him, I ever be like that once, and I know I won't he hurted like I did before.

He's like my mirror, he helps me to understand my self better. But I'm destroying my own self to understand him. He's just too much like me.

Inside, I'm just a weak person.
And he is... so much weaker than I am.
He's too soft, too sensitive,
He's too fearful.
He told me that he's afraid, And I calm him down.
But he don't know, That I did too.
I can't tell him, It's just make him weaker,
I had to stay strong, and fight for my own,
While I keep fighting for him instead.

It's just me or everyone can see this world is changing?
Just like the year, one end and one begin,
Life Cycle should work in the same way too.

Well, that's what I believe before

Till I got it now,
there's some phase where it's not just end and begin just like that
There's some phase when everything stop, to think.
So those end and begin will work in the way it should be.

I hate when some good things ended (well I believe everyone do so)
But it's not always pretty when it's start.
Life isn't always rainbow and butterfly they said
There's always a rain before rainbow
But there's always an art in heartache
There always an If of a Life

Stop & stare

they keep telling me the same shit.

"If he love you, he'd try."

And I keep telling my self the same shit. 

"What if I'm the one who didn't try?"

They said, "you've try enough. may be there's no one can fight the way you do."

But my eyes are blind, my ears are deaf I don't care what they said. 

I still feel what I feel, I still cry everynite, all alone, when no one know. 

I don't know why it never stop falling down. 

I miss you 

That's all I do

My head is spinning arround, 

My heart started to slowing down

I feel my cheeks are always wet 

I suddenly stop 

And stare

And listen 

And care

I love you 

And it's all matter. 

timeless

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too (Feel it too)
Waited on a line of greens and blues (I've waited on a line)
Just to be the next to be with you

She move her head through the rhythm of the song, with her favourite chocolate biscuit in her right hand, and her macbook on her tight. He started to appear in her head, "Really?" she started bothered with her own thought. She start to open her mac and start the safari browser, typing the website she want to go through, 'www.blogger.com' , her profile appeared, 'New entry'

She stare at those blank page, she miss him. "I thought you already over him?" she take a deep breathe "Oh.. I wish.." Those conversation only happen in her head, she's alone in her room. All by her self. She take her phone which not too far away from her, and check it. 

Three line of new messages, Him, Him, and Him. She know, there's no way he gonna text her, but she still wishing on it, She don't know why but she does. She remember their last time, sad, beautiful, tragic. 

She remember those night, those ruined night. She cry all night long. Is this the best? 

She's staring at the clock on the wall, it's not ticking, She take the battery out of it. She remember that night, when she told him she wants the clock stop ticking, He just don't get it, she actually just want to forgot the time. She's too happy, being with him, is the best moment she ever had. 

It's been a month. And she still can't figure it out. 

It's been a month. And she still crying over the same thing. 

She believe life must go on. 

She believe in happily ever after.

But she just so tired. 

So damn tired.

13 Reason Why

Recently, dunia sosmed di ramaikan tentang satu seasonal drama, yang baru keluar 1 season dengan 13 episode which known as "13 reason why" 

Jadi 1 3 reason why ini adalah suatu drama serial yang di siarkan di netflix, dengan tokoh utama wanita Hannah Baker, gadis usia 17 tahun yang memutuskan untuk mengakhiri hidupnya dengan cara bunuh diri dengan 13 alasan yang akan di jelaskan satu persatu di tiap episodenya.
Clay, tokoh utama pria pada cerita ini mendapatkan tape rekaman dari Hannah,
And the heart breaking moment adalah hannah dan clay sebenarnya saling jatuh cinta.

Nah ini ada beberapa respon dari Teenagers tentang cerita 13 reason why.
Seperti apa yang mereka katakan, ada adegan yang mengganggu pada drama ini, yaitu adegan dimana Hannah bunuh diri, adegan tersebut di tampilkan secara men detail.
Kemungkinan besar adegan itu di tampilin dengan alasan 'Bunuh diri itu menyeramkan' tapi for some people akan menganggap adegan itu ngga seharusnya di tampilkan karena bisa menjadi contoh.

And here is 13 lessons learned From 13 reasons Why

Happiness is inside you